Commando Soulmate Ceremony Number Nine!

June 7, 2009 saw the Soulmate Ceremony of Balou and Myrtle.
Prezident Kinney officiated as the besotted couple exchanged their vows.

The couple's heart-felt vows are recorded herein for eternity:

BALOU:
mine myrtle ebber cents i hatch prum mine eggie
me feel wike somefing was missin prum mine life.
ebbery yellow rose me saw i just knowed
dat ders was sumfing speceia bouts dem.
black pearls always had a speciel place in mine heart
den came da day i prist saw u myrtle and da pirst time i heard u giggle.
u was da most beautimous birdie i ebber seed
i can still remeber day day u telled me dat u lub yellow roses
and u baorrowed u moms black pearls because u lub dem so muches
now i nos why da pearls and yellow roses ment somefing to me.
u fill mine empty spots and i lub u por more than ebber and ebber
i nebber ebber wants ta be wif out u
fanks por being mine soul mate.

MYRTLE:
My darling Balouie—
I love you with all my heart and I promise to love you
as long as you have white fedders.
You are the first white birdie I ever saw
and after that I was blinded to all other birdies.
Rregardless of what every bird says, I am not a floozy bird I am just friendly.
I would love you even if you did not give me all those wonderful presents---
but remember presents are the bestest.
But Ise never going to fly kites with you again I hope you don’t mind.
I love you forever in sick ness in health and with or without birdie bread.
You is the bestset birdie and you is very good and kind to me
and you is a good wigglenecker
(that might be too mush information but I wanted you to know…)

PREZIDENT KINNEY: As the happy couple (again) wiggleneck,
I now pronounce them soulmates!

Commando Soulmate Ceremony Number Eight!

Half Pint and Little Dickens were united in soulmatedness on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2009, pledging their everlasting love before a packed house.
The cast of "characters" is listed below
(not necessarily in the order of their appearances).

The ceremony was jointly officiated by Bink and Quazar.
Missy and Sweetie were Birds of Honor.
Birdsmaids were Mickey, Powder, Myrtle and Kiwi M.
Kiwi M. filled in as flower bird
when Twinkle Toes and Sparkle experienced unexpected lock-down.
Quazar took over for Bink as Best Bird.
Grooms Birds were Cruiser, Eaglet, Emril, Simon and Skoshi.
Skittles escorted the bride down the aisle.
Jimmy the Monkey was ring bearer (don't even ask).

The ceremony began as Sweetie sang:

They said we were young and we didn't know
We wouldn't find out until we growed
Well I don't know if dat's all true
'Cause you gotted me, and baby I gotted you Babe
We got each odder babe

Bulldog's got flowers in the spring
Hims got HP ta wear hims ring
And when HP's sad, hims a clown
And if hers scared, hims always around

Don't let dem say ur feadders too long
'Cause I don't care, wiff you I can't go wrong
Then put your little wing in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe
We gots each odder babe
We gots each odder to hold our wings
We gots each odder to understand
We gots each odder to walk with
We gots each odder to talk with
We gots each odder to kiss goodnight
We gots each odder to hold tight
I got you, I won't let go
U got me to lub U so

We gots each odder babe
We gots each odder babeeeeeeeeee

Skittles followed, walking the bride down the aisle.
(Not to give her away! Never, ever to give her away!)

Missy sang:

We've only just begun ta libe
White lace and promises
A beaker for luck and we're on r way
Before da rising sun
We flyyyy
So many roads ta choose
We start out walkin an learn to run an fly
An yesch we've only just begun
Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watchin da signs along da way
Talkin it over just da two ob us
Working togedder day ta day
Togedder
An when da evebing comes
We smile
So much ob life ahead
We'll find a place where dere's room ta grow
And yes we just begun
To libe
We only just begun
To libe

Finally Quazar got to the vows:

Skittles, Put da wing ob HP inta da wing ob Bulldog wiff Ur blessin……
Today we is gadderred togedder with da sands ob time
an da sands ob R special private island
to witness da joinin togedder ob 2 kindred souls, HP an Bulldog.
Two souls whut musta been joined in da spirit ob da universe
before hatchin as dey knew, dey just knew frum da moment
dey set eyes on each odder, no Ise say frum eben fefore dat moment,
dat dey was destined ta bees one.
As little babies dey played togedder an dey knew.
As dey snuggled under da protective wing
ob dere adopted “daddy” Skittles, dey knew.
As dey grew an blossomed as adult birdies dey knew.
Now we all gadder togedder to witness whut dey knew so long ago,
and let it be known from dis day forward, dat da souls ob dese two spirits will always be joined as one, as dere destiny already mapped out dere path – dey will walk it togedder, alwlays wing in wing fer eternity and eben beyond.

Jimmie, please bring forward da rings:

HP, repeat after me:
I, HP, gib ta U Bulldog, dis ring in token an in pledge of my constant faith
an abiding lub wiff all dat I am,
an all dat I will become.
I, HP take U, Bulldog, ta be no odder den Urself,
to be da soulmate ob my days,
an mind life’s companion.
Da one Ise laugh wiff, dream wiff, da one dat Ise lub.
Ise pledge ta lub U fer Urself an da hope dat U will become
all dat U strive ta bees thru all R years an in all dat life may bring.

Bulldog, repeat after me:
I, Bulldog, gib ta U HP, dis ring in token an in pledge ob my constant faith an abiding lub
wiff all dat I am, an all dat I will become.
I, Bulldog, take U, HP to be mine best friend an mine true lub,
da one I laugh wiff, da one I want ta grows old wiff,
U gib me hope, strength an courage,
U is mine world, my sun, stars an sky.
Ise promise ta lub, honor an cherish U
thru all ob R years an thru all dat life may bring.

Now will all da attendants please gadder in a circle around HP an Bulldog
as dey perform da Unity Sand vows wiff the colored sand ob R island.
Kiwi, please hand da shell full ob blue sand ta Bluedog.
Kiwi, please hand da shell full ob pink sand ta HP.

Bulldog an HP, today U is makin a life long commitment
ta share da rest ob Ur lives wiff each odder.
As U each hold Ur sand, da sand represents Ur lives to dis moment,
individual an unique.
As U now combine Ur sand togedder inta da big conch shell
Ur attendants hab prepared fer U, Ur lives also join togedder as one.
Ur relationship is symbolized thru da pourin ob da sand-representing HP an Bulldog, all dat U were, all dat U are an all dat U will eber be.
U may now blend da sand togedder symbolizing
the unitin ob Ur individual souls into one.
Dis conch ob combined sand will make a wonderful keepsake
an a constant reminder ob Ur promises on Ur soulmatin Day.

As the ceremony wound down, Bink made it official:
It is my pleasure to pronounce you officially soulmated.
Congratulations!
You may now wiggleneck.
(At which point the commandos removed the cottom from their ears
and made a dive for the the banquet!)

Commando Soulmate Ceremony Number Seven!

All Hallows Eve, October 31, 2008,
brought the soulmating of Chiquita and Skoshi,
who pledged their hearts to one another
before a frighteningly large crowd of commandos.

Standing up for Skoshi were Bubba, Bink, Skittles and Quazar.
Kiwi M., Sweetie, Half Pint and Mickey attended Chiquita,
with Missy as the Birdie of Honor.
Myrtle threw flowers all over the place.

The ceremony was kicked off with Mickey singing "The Skoshi Family"
to the tune of the Addams Family Theme Song.
(Honest, she really did!)

Prezident Kinney officiated:

Dearly Be Waddling.  We are flocked here today to participate in an event
of romantic notion and the joining of two souls...
the lovely "Bunny Wrangler" herself, Lieutenant Chiquita,
and the dashing but slightly hyperactive Lieutenant Skoshi.

Chiquita and Skoshi fell in love (or "lub" as they say) on All Hallow's Eve
one year ago today.  So we begin this ceremony with an exploration of the Romance of Halloween.

Throughout history, Halloween surpasses Valentine's Day
as the festival of true love.  Who could forget the Bride of Frankenstein...
a nuts and bolts kind of guy searching for his weavil-haired woman?
The Headless Horseman losing his head over a gal?
ET's quest for a land line so he could check in with the Mrs.?
Harry Potter's unrequited love for Hermoine?
Casper's infatuation with Wendy?

Halloween couples are special.
They endear each other with names like "Pumpkin" and "Snickers".
They stick together like cheap molasses candy on a back molar.
Their nights are full of scarlet moons, passion,
and enough fireworks to wake the dead.
They have tricks up their sleeves to woo...
and treats tucked away for all occasions.
And yes, the apple of their eye bobs.

So it is befitting that one of our dearest couples should choose
this night of nights to entangle their souls in a gesture of love, of commitment, and of inescapable bond... forever...

(Chiquita)

Blue Moon, Big Moon on our soulmate night.
Guide us brightly and lead us so not to get lost.
Shine in our hearts foreber.
I lub you, Skoshi.
Let's dance da night away.

(Skoshi)

Chiquita, I lubs you with all me heart
and I promise to bring you nummy food like Figs and Millet,
to preen does pinnies on da back ob yous head dat nobirdie can reach alone.
I promise to help you as mush as I can with yous bunnyea wrangling and be patient when yous too busy to see me and I promise to lob you for eber and eber and then for a few more days after dat.

(Prezident Kinney)

By the power vested in me (by me),
I now pronounce you Soulmates!!
(Whereupon all commandos present threw "stuff" at them
with a resounding, "BOO!")

Commando Soulmate Ceremony Number Six!

Powder Pickle and Rosebud pledged their everlasting love
in a soulmate ceremony on June 22, 2008,
forever uniting two hearts as one before their friends and comrades.

Waddling up for the happy couple were Quince and Quazar, Bestmanbirds;
Bink and Balou, Preensmen;
Twinkle Toes and Sparkle, Birds of Honor;
Mickey and Sweetie, Birdsmaids.
Myrtle was to be the Flower Girl but didn't make it to the chapel on time.
Rising to the occasion, yelkcorB (in full scuba gear)
stepped in and assumed her duties.
Prezident Kinney officiated.

Their vows, written and repeated by the couple themselves,
will be forever remembered:

We are gathered here today on our island refuge and party place
to witness the wonder of another soulmating....
the soulmating of Powder Pickle and Rosebud (that's me!).

In our life there is a single color,
As on an artist's pallet,
Which provides the meaning of life.
This is the color of love.
Love is the emblem of eternity.
It confounds all notion of time.... kinda like Yahoo.
It effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

Separated soulmates find countless and mysterious ways of corresponding
(when Yahoo cooperates).
By sending each other the sound of the birds
Just not those screaming macaws!
The scent of flowers... and taste if ya like em.
The light of the sun, the gleam of the stars, the sighing of the wind.
All the beauty of creation.

A manbirdie is hatched.  A womanbirdie is hatched for him.
In their flight to find each other, the perfect moment awaits its destiny.

That perfect moment sealed our destiny when Powder and I first met.
Even though we were babies, we just knew that we were each others' "only one".
That's why live is never ending.  It is always and forever.

We wrote our own vows.  Powder, please go first.

I, Powder Pickle, ask you, Rosebud, to be mine soulmate, mine "only one".
I promise to lub and take care ob you, in sickness
(like when you eat too many sprinkles) and in health.
I will stand by you always, and hold you up when you have too much rum.
I will cook all your favorite things, feed you grapes (peeled, of course),
and share mine sleepy hut with only you.
I will be your foreber partner in life and love and beyond.

(Now me, Rosebud!)

I, Rosebud, as you, Powder Pickle, to be mine soulmate, mine "only one".
I promise to keep you safe from harm
and to maintain dat rum still you got in de backyard
so you don't blow up.
When you are sad, I will make you smile
by letting you bounce a beach ball off mine head.
When you are angry, I will grovel and beg for forgiveness.
I will keep you always under mine wing and in mine heart.
I will be your foreber partner in life, love and beyond.

(Prezident Kinney)

By the Vestibule standing beside me,
I now pronounce you Powder Pickle-Bud and Rose-ickle!!!
Rosebud, you may regurgitate to Powder
(which he DID and it was VERY funny!).
Powder, you may wiggleneck Rosebud!
Congratulations to the Hoppy Couple!
Everybirdie may now throw their sprinkles!

Our Fifth Soulmate Ceremony!

Tory and Luke celebrated their love
in a soulmate ceremony on February 17, 2008,
pledging their hearts to one another before all their friends.

For all posterity those vows are inscribed herein:

My friends and comrades,

We are gathered together today to witness the wonder of voluntary commitment:  Luke and Tory, as they are eternally joined together in soulmatedness.
The miracle today lies in the life they have chosen together.
The greater miracle will be in their promises to work the nestbox as one.

As we stand today on the warm sand and gaze out at the sea
we are reminded of the journey that awaits Luke and Tory.
Two comrades alike yet as different as any two grains of sand,
forever to ride life's constant waves,
pitching and rolling with and against one another
until they are both worn smooth and polished
(or are terribly, terribly cranky).

Luke... Tory... as you embark upon your journey
may your love continue as constant and unchanging as the tides.
May the currents of romance keep you together
and may you never be parted by an undertow.

Luke, of all the magic you have performed,
winning the heart of lovely Tory is your finest achievement
(next to bird-safe cheeseburgers and fries).

Tory, as you take your place beside Luke in the laboratory of life,
prepare to assist your soulmate in his science,
yet find ways to work your own miracles as well
(and for heaven's sake, wear safety goggles lest you blow the place up).

Luke and Tory, please come forward, face your beloved and repeat after me.

I, Luke, ask you, Tory, to be my soulmate, my friend and my love.
Today I affirm our relationship and trust
and look to the future to deepen them both.
I will be yours in pinnies and in perfect feather,
I will provide for you nesting material, pre-chewed food
and a joint checking account.
Together we will stumble through life's missions -
though hopefully not over each other's talons.
As we face the sun and begin our journey towards it,
I take seriously my duties to hold the umbrella.

I, Tory, ask you, Luke, to be my soulmate, my friend and my love.
Today I affirm our commitment and faith
and look to the future to deepen them both.
I will be yours in laughter and in tears,
I will provide you with warmth, cherish your uniqueness
and stay clear of your Bunsen burner.
Together we will embrace life's challenges and each other -
but if I see you so much as glance at another lady, you're toast.
As we face life's great shopping malls,
I will not pout when you relieve me of the credit cards.

As Luke and Tory exchange leg bands as tokens of their abiding love, I believe Sweetie has a song to offer the lovely couple. Sweetie, go ahead, please.

Thank you, Sweetie!

Now, inasmuch as Luke and Tory have pledged their devotion
before each other and before their friends and comrades,
I now commit them both!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Lukie and Tory Pookie!

Our Fourth Soulmate Ceremony!

Princess Blue Bird and Skittles
were united in soulmatedness on September 29, 2007,
forever pledging their faithfulness.
Music was provided by Missy who appeared in high fidelity,
unfortunately unable to appear in person.

For those commandos who were unable to attend, the ceremony and vows were again written by Prezident Kinney herself:

A long time ago, during our very first Soulmate Ceremony,
we asked the question, "What is a Soulmate?".
Because we have so many new recruits,
I think we need to explore this question once again...
and to make sure Skittles and B.B. know what they're getting into!
So... what is a Soulmate?
A Soulmate is somebirdy you love... heart and soul... and it's that simple.
Somebirdy who knows in their heart,
No matter how far distance keeps you apart,
that under your belly feathers lies a dimple.
A mate of the soul, the spirit, and a friend for every day that passes.
A love of mind, of nuances and attractions.
Seeing nothing but the beauty of each other... even if you need glasses!
It's about sharing tears, sharing laughter, sharing dreams.
It's about honor and commitment,
Sewing a life together, stitch by stitch,
A binding in trust held by the strength of its seams.

Tonight, our very own Lt. Skittles and Lt. Princess Blue Bird
have welcomed each and every one of you to stand on this sand,
on this beach, as friends,
to share a sunset and a ceremony.

Missy couldn't be here tonight,
but asked that we play a song she taped for the happy couple.
Please everybirdy join yelkcorB in whistling or singing as you wish.
Thank you, Missy!

Princess B.B. ... please waddle forward.
May I say how ravishingly yummy that babies' breath looks on top of your head?
Please hold Skittles' tail in your beak and repeat after me:

"I, Princess Blue Bird...
Stand behind Skittles...
In everything he does.
I promise to share my warmth and my millet.
I promise to watch over him, wiggleneck only to him,
and never pass on any parasites I may contract.
I will cherish his every word...
that I may or may not understand.
I will be his heart and his soul,
the love of his life...
For as long as we both can perch side by side."

Skittles, please waddle forward.
Please hold B.B.'s tail in your beak and repeat after me:

"I, Skittles...
Stand back PBB 'cause she dos everything.
I promiscuity to shake my worms and my mullet.
I promiscuity to eyeball her, giggle only her neck,
and not no cooties, neber eber.
I will cherish her ebry blurb.
I will be her tart and her soul...
the lubs to her fight...
For as long we boff the perch next together."

By the vestibule behind me,
I now pronounce you Soulmates!
You may wiggleneck!
Troops, three cheeps for Skittles and B.B.!
Now everybirdy Long & Skinny at the dip!

Our Third Soulmate Ceremony!

Missy and Quazar were united in soulmatedness on May 5, 2007,
Missy being "fashionably late" for her own ceremony.
Missy was attended by Brockley and Aiko, who stood in for the regularly scheduled birdsmaids, Half Pint and Tory, who were unable to attend.
Preensmen for Quazar were Hunka Hunka Pepi and Sunny;
Bud and RatLer regrettably were missing.
Half Pint and "the girls" provided the lovely wedding cake and decorations for the island tree house.
Sound effects during the ceremony were simply awesome!

For those commandos who were unable to locate the Island Chapel, the ceremony and vows were written by Prezident Kinney herself:

Dearly BeFeathered and Be Not,
We are flocked here together in celebration of Missy and Quazar's love.
Finally, (and I mean FINALLY!), we are witness to the bonding, in perpetuity,
of two souls whose distance is long in miles but close in heart.
Two friends who have shared each and every morning in greeting the sun,
and every evening drawing the starlit sky to a close.
In our history there have been no two birds so faithful to each other...
and so completely oblivious to the rest of us.
With this in mind, I think I speak for all when I say,
"Get out the NESTBOX!" and let the ceremony begin!

Birdsmaids, please perch behind Missy
and watch that she doesn't chew on her lovely dress.

Preensmen, please perch behind Quazar.
Can somebirdy pick up his cucumber bun?  Thank you.

Sunny, please waddle forward.
Sunny has prepared a special surprise for Quazar and Missy.
Sunny, go ahead...

"We played togedder as brudders,
Den one day dat wasnt nuff.
And U met Missy
Ebrey since U meeted her
U spent ebery weekend going ta Canada
An dats ok an a gud thing.
Congratulations, Quazar
Welcome ta da family, Missy
Da End."

Thank you, Sunny!

Missy, please waddle forward and repeat after me:
"I, Missy,
Hold my beloved Quazar forever in my heart.
If he sleeps in, I shall wake him.
If he forgets lunch, I shall beak him.
But if he misses Louis Riel Days in Saskatoon this summer, it's OVER!"
Thank you, Missy!

Quazar, please waddle forward and repeat after me:
"I, Quazar,
Hold my beloved Missy forever in my heart.
If her school bus breaks down, I will fix it.
If she can't remember her constellations, I will teach her
But I will NEVER EVER wear a TOQUE!"
Thank you, Quazar!

Missy, Quazar, please join talons without falling over
By the Prezidential powers vested in moi,
I now pronounce you SOULMATES!
You may wiggleneck...

Troops, I announce the new couple!
Please join with me in hollering while throwing millet at the happy twosome,
"GET A NESTBOX!"
"GET A NESTBOX!"

Our First Wedding!

Though not a Soulmate Ceremony, Leta and Webster declared their love for one another and their intention to live as a family on May 7, 2006.  The wedding took place in the Commando Chapel, was attended by many commandos and was officiated by Prezident Kinney. J.P. treated the wedding party to a wonderful wedding cake and Pepi ditched the Speedo in favor of a Zedo!

For those commandos not in attendance, the couple repeated the following vows, written by Prezident Kinney:

AHEM!  Before we begin, I would like to say that everybirdy looks VERY...cough...cough...CLOTHED this evening.

Webster, are you ready to add this Appendix to your life?
Now, If we could have Sunny and Missy play a rousing,
bombastic rendition of "Here Comes The Bird"....
LETA...come out come out wherever you ARE!

My, Leta...BirdsMaids...you look...cough, cough...VERY CLOTHED this evening.
Tory, please hold this onion.  If anybirdy does NOT think this is an onion, please say so now, or forever hold your peace.

We begin!
Dearly Besotted and Bespecled, (sorry, D.Bug)
We are flocked here today to celebrate the joining of Webster and Leta
in oily macaroni, (I'm missing DINNER here)....Holy MATRIMONY!
In the weeks they have been together, Leta and Webster's love
and understanding of each other has grown and matured...leading to this
moment where their lives intertwine as Husband and Wife.

I would now like you Leta, and you, Webster to join wings as I read
this excerpt from "A Farewell to Arms" by some dude named Ernest Hemingway:
"At night, there was a feeling that we had come home,
feeling no longer alone, waking in the night to find the other there,
and not gone away, all other things unreal.
We slept when we were tired and if we woke the other one woke too
so one was not alone.... We could feel alone when we were together,
alone against the others, we were never lonely,
and never afraid when we were together."

Leta, please turn to Webster and repeat after me...

I, Leta, take you, Webster....
To be my constant friend,
My faithful partner,
and my Reference Guide from this day forward.
I will trust you
Respect you,
and try not to push you out of the food bowl.
I will laugh at you,
Preen with you,
And share the clean end of the perch as long as we both shall love.

Webster, please turn to Leta, giving her your
token of everlasting love (that set of Olympic rings there...that's it).
Please repeat after me:

I Webster, take you Leta,
To be my constant friend,
My faithful partner,
And my protector from Micora from this day forward.
I will trust you,
Respect you,
And try not to holler while you are shopping.
I will probably NOT laugh,
since I am the serious type,
I will groom your cranial area,
And I will refrain from correcting your grammar as long as we both shall love.

Now, I believe Miss Missy has a song planned?
Missy?............ER..very nice, Missy...thank you!

Leta, Webster, I now pronounce your knot tied!!!
You may wiggleneck.
Troops, I present Mr. & Mrs. Weblet!!!!

Three cheers for the Hoppy Couple!